Sunday, March 25, 2012

Did you know....

Doors have a sweet spot?

That would be the general area where you hit a locked door with a battering ram to open it. The "sweet spot" is located roughly adjacent to the space between the deadbolt and the doorknob and where No. 1 son aims that battering ram tool before he and his co-workers rush inside a building in pursuit of the bad guys.

The goal is to push in the door enough to free the locks. But if he misses the sweet spot on the first hit, there's always the possibility it also could weaken the door frame and the second slam might force the door and the frame to go exploding into the room -- kaboom!

Maybe you really didn't want to know that. Me, either. I also didn't want to know that on occasion No. 1 son is called upon to carry the bulletproof shield to protect his team as they pour through the door behind him.

This never would have happened if he's done what he was supposed to do -- get that engineering degree from UNH.

I try not to think about that too much but sometimes it's difficult to avoid  reality after another interesting but terrifying conversation with him.
I think I'd much rather be discussing slide rules and tensile strength.

Although come to think of it, tensile strength knowledge might come in handy when it comes to the science of dismantling barriers like locked doors. Do you suppose if I tell him that he might go back to engineering so his mother can sleep better at night?  

No, I don't think so either.
And Did You Know.....

A retainer could be a diet aid?
I'm still testing this theory, but after Week 1 of wearing clear plastic retainers nearly round-the-clock (it can be removed ONLY for eating and drinking), I'm thinking this may be the best diet aid ever.

After enduring 11 months of braces at a not-so-minimal-cost, I am trying to be compliant in regard to my First Month orders amid warnings from my orthodontist's office that failure to wear this apparatus could result in a reversal of all progress and I better not consume anything but clear liquid while my teeth are encased.

So on Day 1, I diligently removed the upper and lower plastic pieces every time I wanted to eat or drink. I am embarrassed to admit that I was astonished to discover how often I engage in those activities, and that doesn't even include my habit of sipping coffee throughout much of the morning. But I respect authority (for the most part) so I diligently removed the retainers, consumed the food or liquid, marched to the restroom to brush my teeth AGAIN, and then reinserted the devices.

By Day 3, I was thinking that this was far too much trouble and maybe I'd just skip my midmorning snack. The next day I decided to forgo the midafternoon one, too. Then I had to think very, very seriously about whether it was worth the trouble to have that glass of wine along with my favorite cheese and crackers at night.

People had told me that braces would help me lose weight because there was so much you can't eat with metal in your month, but I managed to overcome most of those obstacles there. The retainer process has been far more formidable.

If this works and I lose weight, though, I may have found a new diet fad that could make me enough money to pay for my new teeth -- and maybe even the years of therapy I'm going to need to accept that I have a battering, shield-wielding son.

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